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It was an epic battle between truculent man and virulent beastie. Armed with a shop vac, two big honkin’ cans of industrial strength insect assassinator and one can of expanding foam, I attacked. Clad in work boots, heavy duty chainsaw resistant pants, long sleeve shirt, pro hockey body armour, a funky hat with mosquito mesh …Read More!… Insect Heaven Makes for Good Friendships          “Wake up. It’s eight O’Clock”, she said. “Put a tiger in your tank?” He asked. “Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t” She replied. “Just do it.” She added. “Breakfast of champions?” He asked. “It’s the real thing.” She said. He …Read More!… Breakfast with Mr and Mrs Advert So… I’m getting cash from the bank machine and I’m there alone, I have my iPod on… umm… maybe a bit loud, and a song comes on that’s delivering a great, old-school back beat… and I start dancing. I’m punching the numbers and answering the machine questions (“What’s your password”, “What colour are …Read More!… Goofy… Just Plain Goofy We all get spam in our inbox. I have a particularly good filter to annihilate the little buggers. Every so often, I like to write a blog post that “replies” to these nasty little so-and-so’s with what I would like to say to the offending senders. My responses are in italics. This months entries: • …Read More!… Spam… The Other White Meat I avoid eating red meat on purpose with one notable exception; bacon. Almost exactly ten years ago when I turned forty my partner Fiona and I decided to drop everything and travel around the globe before we were too old to enjoy the unimaginable thrill of back-packing and hostel bunk beds. That is… before we …Read More!… Pigs and a Blanket In keeping with the incomprehensible annual customs of Canadians during winter, I was out early yesterday morning huffing and puffing in an interminable battle against old man winter. Yup… I was shovelling. I shovel instead of using a snow blower because the exercise helps me keep my girlish figure. For those of you unfamiliar with …Read More!… In Defence of Snow What ever happened to proper English? Yeah, I know… I’ve done this before. The acronyms bouncing around the internet and smart phones are making me wonder why we bother speaking English anymore. It started a long time ago when we named companies by their acronym: GE (General Electric), GM (General Motors), …Read More!… OU812 Christmas is coming the goose is getting fat. The demographic perusing the overloaded isles at the local emporium is about to start changing from peripatetic women looking for the perfect gift to deeply troubled men hopeful the Ranger-Rick snow globe will look good on his mother’s mantle. We men can’t help …Read More!… Neanderthal Speaks I am either a glutton for punishment or I am an eternal optimist. Either way, it keeps me motivated to see what’s next. A long time ago in a workshop I was told we should try new things… the stuff you like you keep doing, the stuff you don’t you stop. …Read More!… Sacrilegious Soul Search I can live forever! There is a website out there called My Digital Afterlife which provides a service that can send emails to loved ones after you have died. With Halloween coming on, this seems like an apropos moment to bring this to everyone’s attention. The idea behind the …Read More!… Ghost in the Machine |
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